How Dating Rules Differ for Men and Women
Did that first date go well? If so, women can expect a friend request on Facebook sooner than men can. That's one of many tidbits from a new survey about how men and women approach dating.
Match.com released some figures on the topic Tuesday, (April 24) but left at least as many questions as they answered. So we asked for more results from the 5,000-person survey (funded by Match.com and conducted by research firm MarketTools, The Kinsey Institute and several academics).
On Facebook, for example, 20 percent of men and 16 percent of women said they would send a friend request to their potential partner after two to three dates. But there are also extremes. Sixteen percent of women would wait until the relationship has become exclusive. Feeling pre-game anxiety, 10 percent of men would send a request before the first date.
(Waiting is not a bad idea. Facebook can reveal way too much information that's easily misconstrued. A gal in a photo on the arms of several good-looking men might not get a chance to clarify, "But they're my brothers!")
What about that all-important first call after meeting? The 1996 movie "Swingers" got it nearly right:
Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
In the survey, about 31 percent of men said they would call the very next day after a good date. About 25 percent would pretty much follow the industry standard (they actually said "two to three days"). In any case, men are probably calling the shots when it comes to contact. Forty-seven percent of women wait on the guy. (The survey didn't ask about texting.)
As for sex, about 15 percent of men say they wait till the third date. Thirty-eight percent don't have a specific timeframe and simply said that they wait till the woman is ready. About a third of the time, that means waiting until the relationship is exclusive, based on women's answers. Yep, that awkward conversation often comes first. And for 16 percent of women, sex won't come before marriage. To put a number on that, guys, a third of couples expect to get engaged in less than two years. (The other answers were all over the map.)
Only a slim 1.4 percent of women said they would hit the sheets on the first date. Sorry, players.
"She was smiling at how money I am, baby."
Don’t chat about cash too soon. Twenty-eight percent of singles wait two to three months before they mention salaries, and another 21 percent said they wait four to six months.
And definitely wait to talk about the exes. Only 5 percent of men and 3 percent of women talk about former loves on a first date. So, your chance of having a buzz-killing conversation right off the bat is pretty low.