Facebook's first national TV/video ad is a strange short about levitating chairs, crowded dance floors and doorbells being like the social network. The ad is supposed to strike an emotional chord with users, showing how much Facebook is a part of our lives. Instead, it made us think how many things really aren’t like Facebook.
Basketball is a fun sporting event that you can experience without mommy's posts about 18-month-old Jacob’s potty-training success.
Dancing can be a thrilling expression of the body and art, unlike 548 requests for cows, sheep or shovels in FarmVille.
Airplanes take you somewhere far away, while Facebook makes you stay in one place eating Funyuns and growing into the furniture.
Doorbells announce visitors to your home. On Facebook, they just barge in by tagging you in unflattering photos for the world (and your ex) to see.
Bridges are things you cross to get somewhere, while on Facebook you come across dozens of posts that get you nowhere.
A nation is a group that shares a common heritage, while on Facebook, all you share is the Like button.
A mirror shows a picture of your true self, but on Facebook, that image will always be unnaturally flattering and at least five years younger.
When people break into your house and rummage through your things without your knowledge, you can call the police, but on Facebook, those people are called advertisers.
At family gatherings, you just slip into another room to avoid weird relatives, but on Facebook, you have to change your privacy settings.
The universe is vast, unlike Facebook, where your newsfeed is being used up by six friends who post 20 times a day.
A chair gives you a moment’s rest and doesn’t post inane factoids, streams of nearly identical photos or polarizing political videos and commentary.